Early Pregnancy: What No One Tells You
Wow this is surreal , I’m giving you early pregnancy advice! Here we go: Only a month before I got pregnant, I was launching my self out of hovering helicopters at 5,000 ft. My view on life was very different than what it is now. I mean I was waking up every morning thinking how can I be awesome today? What kind of trick can I learn in the sky or in the wind tunnel? Is there another extreme sport I want to dabble in? Maybe I should take scuba diving lessons. I’ve always wanted to go to Tonga and dive with whale sharks. I wonder if I can get a helicopter to drop me over the blue hole in Belize . How quickly can I get certified to become a skydiving instructor?
Then a month later things changed . Now let me stop to just tell you how I hate when people say “throw all your dreams out the window and get ready for no sleep” Thats all bullshit. Excuse my french. Yes things will change and you obviously can’t do certain things for a specific amount of time but that does not mean you are now bound to throw everything you ever wanted away and just circulate your brain around one thing only. Some Chapters can be marked and referred back to, and thats what you should do with every crazy ambition you’ve ever had before getting pregnant. Hit a pause button sure but make sure you’re ready to press play again soon. Well at least thats my motto.
Anyway, thinking of this and all the countless things people told me when they found out I’m having my first child, sparked a blog post idea in my head. I’m only in the second trimester and I already learned so much from this experience. Whether you’re pregnant already or trying to conceive or you’re just curious for when the time comes, I think this post will be very helpful for you.
Here we go:
Don’t go crazy with Pregnancy Tests
Last year , I had a miscarriage . I was very lucky that it was really early on in the pregnancy . In fact it was before I even missed my period. So most women don’t even notice a miscarriage of this kind (failed implantation or rejected embryo) . But I found out about it , and here’s why : I was testing for a pregnancy too early . I was psychotic with tests . I wanted a baby so bad that I wouldn’t even waste any time going to the toilet without bringing in a pregnancy test with me.
Now, with the current and so far successful pregnancy , when I first found out, I was terrified of losing the baby . So I kept testing every single day even though it was always an obvious positive. However I kept looking out for any faded lines but then at the same time look out for darkening lines to see if the pregnancy is getting stronger. I think I did this for two weeks.
Yes I was a complete psycho . But hey , it’s part of wanting to be a mother. You want it so bad that you just want answers and you want them now . DON’T DO THIS TO YOURSELF. Studies show that stress and anxiety can actually affect pregnancy especially in the early stage where your body could decide you’re not ready and can terminate the pregnancy itself. RELAX. You’re pregnant , so chill out , sleep well , eat well and just wait till your first scan. A good thing to keep you distracted is to keep busy . I found writing to be so effective in keeping my mind off things and keeping me busy and pacified. I threw away all my pregnancy test sticks too (yup , I had bought like a 1000 of them in bulk on Amazon from a shady Russian website) .
Don’t look up Birth Videos
Dear god no please don’t do this. I was guilty of this one . I had never seen a birth before . And while I should just be worrying about getting good sleep and nutrition , I now started worrying about my poor Vagina . And I had like 9 more months to do that . Too much too soon . There is no need to watch a birth video until you’re about 30 weeks and you’re taking hypnobirthing classes . Right now your baby is a jelly bean that needs iron , calcium , Vitamin C , and countless other things that can all have hindered absorption to the body because of nasty stress and anxiety hormones .
DON’T google too much
Look I know it’s physically impossible to stop googling stuff . But of all times in your life , this is the time you should only refer to experts, your midwife or possibly your grandma who’s had like ten kids (we’ll count her as an expert because she deserves it). I experienced a little bit of spotting in the beggining and when I googled it , a larger than my screen title came up on my screen and it said “SIGNS OF MISCARRIAGE AND WHEN TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM” . You can imagine how that made me feel . I was certain that I had lost the baby . Don’t do it, as soon as you find out you’re pregnant , get a midwife, doula or your doctor’s number and just ask them .
DON’T buy yourself new clothes , just yet
Ah yes , can’t tell you how many dollars I wasted on websites that took pictures of their skinny as* models and posed their products as seamless and stretchy. But instead I would feel like a watermelon on the verge of bursting when I tried it all on. Yup so I made the mistake of trying to predict my bump size and how much weight I would gain and thought I could just go online and buy mediums and it’ll all be butterflies and rainbows.
Boy was I wrong… In fact I still have some returns in packages in the back of my trunk . I was 12 weeks pregnant and had a cute little bump and a nice booty so I thought omg yay! I’m going to be the cutest pregnant lady especially if I just dress the same and buy slightly larger sizes. I learned the hard way that you will have random growth sprouts. Your belly will no longer be able to handle any kind of band around it no matter how stretchy .
So what I’m saying is say goodbye to jeans. Those will be of no use to you until after you’ve had the baby (or possibly after your baby learns to walk because jeans are just awful when you have a human growing inside you or when you’re recovering from birth , as I’ve been told . I can’t think of anything worse. Actually wait , maybe high waisted yoga leggings, if they weren’t made for moms then they need to go . I say if you start to have trouble fitting in clothes, resort to nice maxi dresses until you feel ready to splurge on maternity wear . ***I’ll put in links in this post to great things to wear when in you’re in that growing and glowing period!
DON’T go baby shopping
Resist as much as you can , yes. God I hate giving this particular piece of advice because I started looking at baby onesies two and half hours after my positive test . So I get it , BUT , apparently and no one tells you this… babies can come out not fitting in newborn stuff anyway ! You could either have a teeny tiny baby and need to go out and buy all premature baby sizes OR you could have a little chunky monkey and he/she may need to go straight into 3-4 months sizes. So although it’s tempting to fill up the closet, you may need to give it all away once the baby comes.
My doctor recommended that I wait till 32+ weeks so he can monitor the baby and tell me if I’m clear to buy normal sized clothes. I also got another great piece of advice : wait and see how much you actually get gifted! Apparently people will buy you tons of little baby grows , onesies , cute socks and basics because people like to be safe with gifting choices. So you may not need to stock up on 32 plain white onesies if you already received 56 . Remember they grow out of them in a span of a week !
DON’T hold in your emotions
“I’m not emotional, YOU’RE emotional!!” .. that would be my response to everyone who asked me if I’ve gotten the pregnancy blues . I hated feeling vulnerable and weak . I hated feeling out of control . But I’ve come to terms with it now . And yes I admit it , I’m a little emotionally wrecked right now . I get these weird waves of elation followed by ugly low lows. And since I have struggled with a childhood of abuse and have actually been diagnosed with depression before , I was more prone to those really crappy lows. I even googled “Can pregnancy make you bipolar?” (side note: never google that) .
Luckily my other half is so understanding , patient and encouraging. He kept reminding me that its okay that I’m angry or upset for no reason . And that if I felt emotional to just be emotional and not hold it in . Let it out and speak up , to friends, family , to him , to my journal … There’s nothing worse than bottling emotions up …because trust me (and my therapists advice) it will come back to bite you in the ass harder than ever .
DON’T have bump expectations
This might be the worst one. I actually was fine in this region because I felt lucky that I saw my bump super early .. until people started running their mouths. And they made me insecure as hell. Like people saying “omg you’re massive already!” or “are you sure there aren’t two in there?” or “wow you are going to struggle when you get to full term! Have you bought a belly bad?”
SERIOUSLY ?!? My exact thoughts are F*ck off . I was totally happy with my size and loved my big old bump . And now they have me googling why I look like I’m 30 weeks pregnant when I’m actually 15 weeks . You should see the things that came up . Missed twins, missed miscarriages , excessive internal bleeding , uterine cancer… horrific . Don’t do it ,you are so beautiful and perfect the way you are . Your bump is unique to you because you are unique and so is your baby . There is no scale you have to follow .
DO Trust your body
I was going to name this one “Don’t weigh yourself” but I decided to change it to this title because you really , really , need to trust your body by just letting it do what it has to do . Did you know women gain an average of 35lbs during the pregnancy ? I have personally already gained 22 and I’m not even halfway yet . But it doesn’t matter .. because I’m eating healthy , I’m letting myself indulge here and there sure, but with balance. I’m making sure I have oats, almonds , dried fruit, green veggies, lean meats and lots of sources of vitamin C without ever calorie counting . Its a huge mistake to calorie count when you have a beautiful little miracle inside you who doesn’t care about staying skinny . Trust your body , you will be able to bounce back in no time .
Hope you find this post helpful ! Please comment if you relate to this post and share it with a friend if you think it may be helpful to them ! See below the best maternity wear that I loved and click to shop it directly .